The Art of the Facebook Friend Request

It’s creepy to friend request someone a generation younger than you.  I mean, really really creepy.  Don’t do it.  Then you are a creep.

I learned this early in my social media life.  Years ago, when Facebook became an athletic department nemesis, our Director of Athletics gathered the entire department in a large classroom and explained that each coach needed to get on Facebook and see the pictures their student athletes posted and tagged.  14 of our 16 sports had pictures tagged which, if not an NCAA violation, were a violation of our code of behavior. 

They were given one week to clean things up and staff was asked to set up an account and poke around, as well.  I set my account up then forgot about it.  About a month before my son was graduating from high school I got my first friend request.  It was from his best friend.  I only knew because I got an e-mail about his request and that he wrote on my wall.  My wall?

I accepted and took a peek at my account but still had no idea how it really worked.  Within a week at least 20 of his friends requested me and I accepted them all.  My son thought it was the strangest thing and did not want to have any part of me being on Facebook.  I totally respected his feelings and never EVER asked him to include me.  This was his world and I did not want to interfere.

The kids included me in conversation and when they went away to school they kept in touch with a quick post or tag.  Sometime first semester my son requested me and I enjoy being a part of this world. 

Here are my rules:

            I never request anyone a generation younger than me.  That includes my cousin’s kids, my son’s friends and kids in the neighborhood.  If they want me in their timeline they request me.  I am pleased to say I have developed wonderful relationships with many of the “cousins” and respect their invitations by not stalking their wall.

            Unless they are close personal friends, I do not request any co-workers.  I think it is important to recognize that relationships at work are not the same as relationships outside of work. 

            If I do not recognize a name (especially a female who chooses not to use her maiden name) and we have no friends in common, I ignore.  Linkedin and Twitter are the professional me.  Facebook is a peek inside my living room.  I don’t open my door to strangers.  

That little icon pops up and gives me a burst of excitement every time.  Who will it be?  Is it someone I haven’t heard from in years?  High school?  College?  I can hardly wait to click the little red icon and see who it is…

Life is good!

Jude

Twitter: MidMajorMom

Twitter: JudeCaserta

AthleticBudgetCoach.com

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Do I Over Think Twitter? Youbetcha!

Do I over think Twitter? Youbetcha!

And, I have a reason.  I was sick of not being able to enjoy my timeline.

First off, I’m no Twitter guru – fewer than 400 followers does not make me an expert but I’ll bet I am more the norm than the big guys who have a gazillion followers.  

You open an account and are ready to Tweet.  First you realize you are Tweeting to no one because while you are following 201 accounts only your two best friends follow you.  It seems easier to just text them, doesn’t it?

Next, folks start to follow you and you are so happy you follow them back.  A new Tweeter does not realize that they may be following bots that will fill your timeline with Tweet-spam and drown out any chance you have of reading relevant and interesting Tweets.

If Twitter is about relationships then perhaps the term should be defined:

  1. A connection, association or involvement

A connection implies being between at least two things, same with association or involvement. 

If you and I do not know each other and you follow me I have an obligation to determine if I want a connection, association or involvement with you.  I ask folks who follow me and who are not from college athletics how they found me and why they followed me.  I have had some very interesting answers and have enjoyed their exchange.  Because of this obligation, I do not automatically follow everyone who follows me.  You may seem interesting to me but Tweet so frequently each day, and worse, repeat the frequent Tweets that I may list you without following you.

Here is a pet peeve: if you follow me, I follow you back then you unfollow me.   What’s that about?  Remember that relationship thing?   I liken it to a cold call in business.  It would be like making a cold call to a blue chip prospect and leaving a message.  When the prospect actually calls you back, you don’t answer and don’t return the call.  That’s rude and very bad for the business relationship you had hoped to develop when you made the initial call.

I use care and reason when I follow someone that does not know me

Sometimes I follow an entity like the NCAA.  I am interested in what they have to say with no illusions they will follow me back.

Sometimes I follow a person who is in the media or an expert in things I am interested in, again with no illusions they will follow me back.  I simply am interested in what they Tweet and enjoy reading their Tweets in my timeline.

Sometimes I follow someone who was recommended to me by a fellow follower.  If I read and like their bio and a few pages of their Tweets I will follow them.  If, eventually they do not follow me back I will unfollow them.  My thought is, they made a reasoned decision not to follow me and if we don’t have a relationship and they are not interested in my contribution to Twitter then unfollowing is a good way to clean my timeline.

Unlike in The Godfather (perhaps the greatest movie of all time…just sayin’) when Michael says, “It’s not personal, it’s strictly business,” once you realize Twitter is personal, you will think more about relationships and make more reasoned decisions of who is in your timeline, too!

Until next time!

Jude Russo Caserta

AthleticBudgetCoach.com/blog

Twitter: JudeCaserta Linkedin: Jude Russo Caserta

E-mail: judi_caserta@athleticbudgetcoach.com

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