The Art of the Facebook Friend Request

It’s creepy to friend request someone a generation younger than you.  I mean, really really creepy.  Don’t do it.  Then you are a creep.

I learned this early in my social media life.  Years ago, when Facebook became an athletic department nemesis, our Director of Athletics gathered the entire department in a large classroom and explained that each coach needed to get on Facebook and see the pictures their student athletes posted and tagged.  14 of our 16 sports had pictures tagged which, if not an NCAA violation, were a violation of our code of behavior. 

They were given one week to clean things up and staff was asked to set up an account and poke around, as well.  I set my account up then forgot about it.  About a month before my son was graduating from high school I got my first friend request.  It was from his best friend.  I only knew because I got an e-mail about his request and that he wrote on my wall.  My wall?

I accepted and took a peek at my account but still had no idea how it really worked.  Within a week at least 20 of his friends requested me and I accepted them all.  My son thought it was the strangest thing and did not want to have any part of me being on Facebook.  I totally respected his feelings and never EVER asked him to include me.  This was his world and I did not want to interfere.

The kids included me in conversation and when they went away to school they kept in touch with a quick post or tag.  Sometime first semester my son requested me and I enjoy being a part of this world. 

Here are my rules:

            I never request anyone a generation younger than me.  That includes my cousin’s kids, my son’s friends and kids in the neighborhood.  If they want me in their timeline they request me.  I am pleased to say I have developed wonderful relationships with many of the “cousins” and respect their invitations by not stalking their wall.

            Unless they are close personal friends, I do not request any co-workers.  I think it is important to recognize that relationships at work are not the same as relationships outside of work. 

            If I do not recognize a name (especially a female who chooses not to use her maiden name) and we have no friends in common, I ignore.  Linkedin and Twitter are the professional me.  Facebook is a peek inside my living room.  I don’t open my door to strangers.  

That little icon pops up and gives me a burst of excitement every time.  Who will it be?  Is it someone I haven’t heard from in years?  High school?  College?  I can hardly wait to click the little red icon and see who it is…

Life is good!

Jude

Twitter: MidMajorMom

Twitter: JudeCaserta

AthleticBudgetCoach.com

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When You Tweet With Me, You Tweet With Me!

I think of this every Friday when I copy my followers that week from my Excel spreadsheet to my word document, that I spend a lot of time trying to be “social” with social media.  I know what you are thinking…Excel spreadsheet…Word document…she’s geek of the week.

I just don’t get this fully automated social media nonsense.  It really seems like an oxymoron to me – how do you automate something which is supposed to be about social interaction?  That doesn’t sound very social to me!

I had someone reach out to me on my www.MidMajorMom.WordPress.com blog yesterday asking me about what I thought about adding personal stuff on her “pro” Twitter account.  Please follow @ldelmonte – she is an interesting lady and learning about all of this social media etiquette.  I told her I really did not enjoy Twitter until I spent more time doing @mentions rather than just Tweeting my ideas.  I also began enjoying it more when I took the time to read other people’s blogs and visit their websites.  It helped me know whether I wanted them in my timeline and I always get great pleasure ReTweeting someone’s Tweet if I think my followers will enjoy it as much as I do.

You can also over-do ReTweeting, in my opinion.  It is a lot like forwarding e-mails.  I stopped using one of my e-mail accounts because I have a person who ONLY sends me forwarded e-mails (who hasn’t read the one about the dollar coins not having “In God We Trust” on it by now? It does, by the way, on the side).  How many in this room delete e-mails whose subject line starts with FWD:?  Take time to tell me why you like the Tweet and you engage in “social” media.

I vet my followers and use thought when I follow someone.  I take pride in the fact that I follow only 17 people/associations that do not follow me.  I take pride in the fact that I am on a lot of lists (one list for every 15 followers…not bad at all).  I take pride that I personally thank each follower who took the time to follow me that week. 

When you Tweet with me, you Tweet with me!

Until next time!

Jude Russo Caserta

AthleticBudgetCoach.com/blog

Twitter: JudeCaserta

Linkedin: Jude Russo Caserta

E-mail: judi_caserta@athleticbudgetcoach.com

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